Originally Posted by transcendental
I feel like it is a betrayal of my partner doing things with my husband. Is this stupid? Am I over-analysing things? Should I just be grateful that the relationship with my partner has had a positive impact? It has been very challenging building an open relationship, but I was expecting challenges. I was not expecting these developments and I was unprepared for them.
I wouldn't say it;s stupid, though I do think it's a bit silly.
Flip it around a bit: why would you want to leave your husband out of things that you find enjoyable? Why would you set up your bf as being special enough to do some things with and your husband as being far too inferior to do those things with?
Seriously, if your husband gets excited by new things and wants to improve your sex life--you know, the one that also includes you--why would you want to make your sex life less interesting by placing limits on it like that?
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.