I became a secondary to a man who is married with a small child this last spring. The first situation like this one ended in disaster (as you can read in my blog from Jan 2012 on). This time around I am pacing myself by holding back my feelings and requests of him. I have strong feelings but I am working first on my metamour relationship. I want that to be solid first before making requests and sharing too many feelings.
So far she is very receptive and we get along well. I have found that by going about it this way she is much more willing to be giving about how much time I spend with her husband and what the activities are that we do. She wants us to succeed and has invested interest in us succeeding now as her son likes me, her husband is happy, she has someone to talk to about her own bf and I come along with some pretty amazing friend potential as I have three other partners and an awesome circle of friends. My success with her husband is something that she also benefits from. I like knowing that