yes he is! never would have believed it. i think before, it was her second child, his first - so he was kind of left out of the parenting because she was very 'been there done that', and didn't know how to integrate him - and he was happy to keep being a child. and when she needed him to step up (which is the point when most dead-beat-dads cr@p out), he did. and he's just come along in leaps and bounds. talking to him, i still can't believe he's the same guy.
Its funny. H has sensory processing disorder, and i have aspergers. so she and i are both very introverted, often get 'touched out', prefer verbal intimacy to physical. so in a lot of ways - we *all* get exactly what we need at the moment. because M has adhd and constantly wants to be cuddling and intimate and affectionate. and this way when one of us tells him to piss off, there's another girl to go to.
poor guy (although luckily i'm such a deep sleeper, he actually does get to snuggle overnight. if i was any lighter sleeper i'd feel truly sorry for him).
and even though the relationship is still new. the whole dynamic was going on well before any sexual element was added, so the kids aren't aware of any 'major' shifts to my knowledge.
i'm trying to find an internet meme H found for us the other day - but basically the quote was 'polyamory is having two girlfriends gang up on you'. that sums up our family
[in a nice way]