Welcome to our forum.
So sorry to hear that your relationships with J and D didn't work out. Hopefully you will find some consolation in mingling with fellow poly folk on this site.
One can never know what the future may hold, and the past is sadly beyond our reach. Take this opportunity to learn some more about polyamory and how it works.
I hope you enjoy your stay.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"