In 2006, I met a man on the internet. We were both AOL customers, and he had seen my profile and decided to send me an AIM message. We chatted for several days, and finally had a first date. We shared calzone and a long walk in the rain, but at the end of the date I wasn't sure I wanted to see him again. He was 10 years older than me, had a 1-year-old child, and was short - all completely opposite of what I thought my "type" was.
He continued to send me emails and messages, and it took about a month and a half before I agreed to set aside my prejudices and see him again. On our second date we were supposed to watch DVDs, but instead I gave him my virginity (at 27! It was about time!) and we've been inseparable since.
Fly's son was the product of a one-night-stand he had while in a 9-year relationship. When kiddo was 11 months old, Fly's baby mama told him to either be a real dad or to get out of kiddo's life completely. Fly decided to be a dad, and told his girlfriend and family about kiddo, and, as he tells me, the shit hit the fan. Both Fly and his girlfriend are involved in a sport that has a fairly small community, and so in the process of breaking up he lost a lot of friends who chose her side. It was a difficult time for him, and it took about 6 years for them to even speak civilly.
Due to this experience, Fly was very upfront with me that he did not want to be monogamous. In fact, he didn't even really want anything but a casual relationship. He felt that he had failed his girlfriend, and was adamant that he was not going to make promises he could not keep. I, on the other hand, was pretty naive, with all the pretty dreams of weddings and fairytales and was really apprehensive about entering into something with a man who was not going to be faithful to me. Imagine my surprise when, the first time he told me he'd slept with another woman, it didn't really bother me! When Fly heard this, his eyes darkened with arousal and appreciation, and I began to think there may be a way to make this work after all.
There have been rough times, crunchy conversations, and moments when we thought we couldn't fix the holes, but now we've been together 6 and a half years, and are strong in our love, commitment, and what we want our life to look and feel like. He's my heart and foundation.
- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy, ultimately amicable breakup), and his 10-year-old son Kiddo