Originally Posted by charlesgarnier
It's strange to see so many people so full of certitudes. Cheating is very wrong, nobody ethical would do that in any citconstances, if my husband cheat once, I divorce at once and destroy everything without a second of hesitation. I bless Anna being more intelligent than that.
I'm truly loving two people. So does Chris. This is polyamory. I just wonder if there is a balanced situation which could make us and our spouses happy, despite those bad beginnings.
I now see what's going on. Charles, I ask you to read every word I type, because it is all meant to try to help you. I am being sincere with every keyboard character I type.
You have an arrogant, self righteous attitude. I'll call this your asa for short. You fell in love. Your asa told you it was ok to cheat. You stepped into a new relationship with Chris. You became happier than you're used to being. Your problem now is you want everyone around you who is outside of that new relationship to be happy for you as well. You think their happiness for you will help you to be even happier with Chris - and will totally eliminate any feeling you have of doing something wrong. The problem is they are not happier, or even happy. They just tolerate your new relationship. That makes it a little harder for you to enjoy yourself with Chris.
Anyone outside of your new relationship who does not passionately approve of it, including the people on this forum who are trying to help you, have a "certitude", because they are not passionately happy for your new found love (after all, it is love, right(?) you ask the people on this forum).
The truth is you have reached the outer limit of what your asa can do "for you". It seemed like a convenient tool in the beginning. It let you start an affair. Now, it's standing directly in the way of you feeling any better about YOURSELF than you do right now. The best next step I can suggest is to look directly within yourself and look at your asa. Get to know it, so you can get beyond it.