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Old 08-20-2012, 02:16 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,649

walztingback: Why do you think your gf is a lesbian? You and she are in love, you live together, you have sex. Sure, some lesbians still do ID as gay after falling in love with a man, having sex with him, even marry and have kids with him.

Personally, I call that being bisexual.

OK, that out of the way--

If your gf is truly polyamorous, she is capable of loving and desiring 2 partners. If she is mono, she will leave you for her new love. Those are the facts. You must determine which is which and not live on in limbo not knowing.

Of course you miss her, after being accustomed to being joined at the hip for 2 years. This is an adjustment you must make, as so many of us here have done. If she takes care to make sure your time together is quality time, hot, caring, intimate, it will be easier.

However, many people new to poly get swept up in "new relationship energy" and neglect their primary partners. Is she doing that? It is unethical. Insist she become aware of your loneliness and does what she can to help you. At the same time, do good things for yourself when you are feeling lonely. See friends more, take up new hobbies or reinvest in old ones, exercise, eat well, work out. And keep talking and listening here! We know where you are coming from.

Do a tag search on NRE here to see how others have dealt with it.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 41, M
Old Friend, gender fluid
Nick, 35, M (occasional lover)
Hippie, 25 (?)
Dark Wing, 45 (?)

Last edited by Magdlyn; 08-20-2012 at 02:18 PM.
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