If, when you express a desire for sleepovers and your sadness you don't get that, the only reaction from your bf is the cold shoulder, ask yourself: why do I "love" a man who responds to my feelings with coldness and rejection?
From your own words, it really seems they are just using you as a sex toy and domestic slave. You deserve better.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)