I'm a bit of a fan of 'streams of consciousness', so bear with me
I'll start by saying i'm bi/pan, and i've known i was poly/not-monogomous for years, however i'm still, as my female partner calls me - a unicorn. a mythical creature who remained a virgin into their 20's. its a bit embarrassing LOL. but i guess i should just suck it up and admit it. i've done everything but that so far.
I also tend to end up in circumstances that flaunt societies expectations of me most of the time.
So....all the way back to the start? um, well maybe just a few years back.
H(f) and M(m) have been on again/off again for about 10 years, but are adults now and in a stable relationship. H has a son from a prior relationship, and they have two daughters together.
H and i reconnected as close friends two and a half years ago when their first daughter was born (i'm slightly obsessed with kids and childbirth
), and i moved in with H when she had M took a break in their relationship 18months ago.
At the time M was a total d!ckwad, chronic dope smoker, and just...not a guy i could like as a friend, let alone anything else.
But H and i are as close as can be - we've jokingly referred to ourselves as sister wives for 2 years, just because of how close we are. But we've never really been all that sexually attracted to each other.
And then baby girl nr 2 was born late last year, and she had a *lot* of issues, nearly died, and ended up in hospital for two months. And M finally had the chance to step up and change who he was (which he did
And in the mean time, i took over full time care of both the older children.
So, back to the initial "v-card", i made a joke to H about a month ago that i was considering asking her to borrow her man to get rid of the damn thing, and she went...hmmm, interesting. took it back to M, and they discussed it
and then we discussed it together.
and slowly, with LOTS of conversations we've ended up in a triad. (eta: ironically - i'm currently dragging my heels. i'm so old that its a bit scary now, and i'm a bit used to being the weirdo who can't get laid :P )
Its not quite a balanced triad, mostly because, while H and i are absolutely happy to be sexual together - we're not actually that sexually attracted to each other. so if M's not involved, we'd rather sit and gossip for an evening/be best friends. But we're more than happy to get together if he's involved.
So we're still learning how to make it work. Kind of going with the assumption 'the only right way, is the one that makes us happy'.
Ironically, i would have been happy being their 'dirty little secret' - but neither of them are ok with me treating myself that way. So we started coming out to people.
So far, 4 out of 6 parents know. And the worst reaction from any of them has been 'i don't understand how either of you girls likes M - he's a wanker' (from her dad...who has a longstanding grudge against M
but is *thrilled* to bits to gain me as a daughter in law).
I haven't told my dad yet, more from lack of opportunity than anything - but apparently he and mum did the poly/open thing, so he'll just be relieved i'm happy.
And not a single friend has raised an eyebrow. Its such a natural progression of where we were, that no one has really cared.
So, that's my poly story so far. I'll come post in here - but i'd love to hear from other people (i tend to post more if i know people are reading what i write
silly, i know).