I agree with the three previous posters, and urge you to read them again.
I do have something else to add. I think you probably are finding your situation painful. I just don't think you've found the right 'cause.' I find it pretty painful that neither of my men want to live with me. I am very much a 'live with' kinda gal. However, one of them is an extreme introvert, and loves very much to sleep with me, and loves very much for me to go home in a day or three. The other is a perfect slob, and won't change to live with me. I didn't stop loving him because he's a slob, but I asked him to leave.
I urge you to look inside, maybe with help of a good friend or therapist, and own your pain, and see what it is that you're doing that causes you to test and never be satisfied (as galagirl proposed).
big virtual hugs of support from someone who has definitely been there and done that (and I promise, if you look and do your work, you will feel better and get better)
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein
Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)