I think you spend a lot of time setting yourself up for emotion crazy because you do not keep your thoughts in good order? Why do you feel the need to keep "testing" his love for you? When is it enough? What does he have to do to finally pass? When do you just accept that YES, you are loved?
1) The moving? That's just being practical about timing/expenses. And maybe the unsaid fact from politeness -- he's not ready to move in with you emotionally yet.
And he is trying to let it go with a more graceful reason. You cannot push him to be ready faster than he is ready.
2) That's a non-reality hypothetical imagining. And you are letting it color your actual reality. What for? Why do you play let's pretend and get bent out of shape over the let's pretend answers you asked for? You pretend you have become trans and it is now a friends forever thing. You get upset for real when the pretend him moves out to live with his pretend lover? Because the pretend friend you wants to live with pretend him and his pretend lover in the pretend game?
Weird that you get real upset over a pretend game YOU initiated. It's all pretend. IT IS NOT YOUR REALITY.
I'm going with your partner. You are being really... weird with the overreact and irrational thinking. Do you have a good self esteem? Self Assurance? Why this chronic need for external validation from him? It sounds baffling to me.
Love is not a contest. He loves you. Believe it. And if you cannot -- fix your broken believe-ability button. Not make him jump around some more.
Asking him to jump through a endless hoops for you is not proof of his endless love! And what's the proof of YOUR love for him? Is it a love expression to torment your loved one with weird like this? Always testing their love but never satisfied with it? That gets tiresome you know. Never getting around to doing the fix on your internal wiring with the broken believe-ability button?
I'd wonder if he one day starts to go "Ultraviolet is NEVER satisfied with me or my love. I guess it's a bottomless pit here and I ought to take it elsewhere. Somewhere it is valued more and BELIEVED. Because Ultraviolet will never believe that I love Ultraviolet and lack of belief in me and my love saddens me. I wanted to love not jump. I'm tired of jumping. I am not believed when I love. So what is here for me? Nothing."
at this time = closed married polyship of 2 with DH.
Chronic patient = fuzzy brain at times. (If I make no sense in a post, just PM me and I'll happily try to clarify it later.)
Last edited by GalaGirl; 08-20-2012 at 03:44 AM.