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Old 08-19-2012, 02:51 PM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 833

Just a clarification, from reading your other posts: these are not actually your sisters. That does change things. It makes it a whole lot easier to walk away from without the rest of the family being dragged into it, for instance.

It sounds from your posts as if Margo, second 'sister,' has had quite a few issues in your group, and she's only been there a few months. This should supposedly be the honeymoon stage, and she's been fighting with two of them and giving the cold shoulder to you. How do the other two feel about this? Are they getting tired of it?

Look at these comments you made:

things with my boyfriend, my first sister and I are perfect right now,
I want to talk to my partners about it, but my boyfriend usually ends up telling me second sister about when I am upset with her and then things get ten times worse because she will fight with him AND be more mad at me.

last time I "stood up for myself" things just got worse.
I know I'm coming from the outside, but if you can't have a private conversation with him, there's a problem with him, too. Why isn't he respecting your need to talk about this without it all being reported back? Is either of them bothered by how she's treating you or are they just leaving you to deal with this yourself while they continue to support her?

A relationship where any attempt to stand up for yourself makes things worse is not a perfect relationship. Again, I know I'm seeing only bits and pieces, and I know I'm bringing my own experience in an emotionally and verbally marriage to how I read this, but to me, that sounds like an abusive relationship, where everything is smooth sailing as long as you smile pleasantly no matter what and don't rock the boat.

When I told my pastor about the things going on in my marriage, his words were, "Get some counseling to get strong enough to do what you need to do."

Have you ever heard of EMDR? It's used for post traumatic stress, and it has been used by many people on the infidelity board I frequent. My advice is to take a little time to yourself to think things through, to do a few things on your own, reconnect with your own wants and desires in life, where you want to be in ten and twenty years, and look into counseling, maybe specifically with someone who does EMDR.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you can find some peace.
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