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Old 08-18-2012, 10:17 PM
Ttree Ttree is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
But why would it turn into a veto arrangement if that is exactly what you don't want? Set your own boundaries and don't agree to things that don't work for you. It almost sounds as if you see polyamory as this "thing" that will take over your life and make decisions for you, putting you in situations that you don't like.
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Nycindie, thanks for all the links and info. This is great! I was so lost on the forums before I started messaging you guys.

As Hannah said, what I meant was with my current relationship could become a primary relationship WITHOUT vetos (sorry, that sentence was a bit ambiguous ), just by virtue of how close he and I are. Yes, through this recent breakup I have certainly learned to stick to my guns and as I've said my one dealbreaker is anyone who tries to "cowboy" me or try to otherwise restrict whom I may love or date.

Regarding him meeting the people I am serious about, I think he wants to just make sure nobody is trying to use me. He knows my history of having been through emotional abuse, and he is pretty good at reading people (certainly better at it than I am, this I know). As I've said, he does not (and will not try to) determine whether I date someone. I also personally would prefer the people I get into relationships with to get to know each other. Both of us are quite direct and relational and prefer open conversation with people regardless of the potential awkwardness.

It's great to see I am not the only one who is trying to do things this way and that there are quite a few people who don't strictly adhere to the veto principle. It really helps being able to hear how other similar poly relationships function.
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