Originally Posted by nycindie
But why would it turn into a veto arrangement if that is exactly what you don't want?
Set your own boundaries and don't agree to things that don't work for you. It almost sounds as if you see polyamory as this "thing" that will take over your life and make decisions for you, putting you in situations that you don't like.
It's simple, really. You want to have multiple relationships, you manage them, state and accept what you want, reject what you don't want, and move on if people give you shit and expect you to conform to their rules without regarding yours.
I think you read that wrong. The way I read it was that she was excited about the idea that she could have a primary relationship without a veto and expects her relationship to change into one of those if it becomes primary, one without a veto.