You've outlined the major issues but haven't exactly said what the problems are. For instance, you say how you and the wife like to be introduced, but you haven't said why that's causing difficulty. It'd be helpful to have more background info. Also, how long have the three of you been together? Are you involved with both members of the married couple?
Great resources here: http://www.morethantwo.com/coupledating.html
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.