Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit
I suspect folks choosing to live a mono lovestyle probably don't question the "possibility" of romantic love flowering (it's existence) but simply forbid any EXPRESSION of that love. In other words - it's a "concept" vs "reality" issue. I suspect it's the expression, the actions, associated with spreading love that constitutes the threat or breaking of vows.
Included in the following statements are generalizations and therefore subject to discrepancy among individuals. I'm just saying general trend, not every mono person ever.
I think that many mono people would view those "possibilities of romantic love" as just pure lust or some other form of devilry. Whether that would be blamed on the luster, the lustee, the luster's partner or the relationship; fault would be found somewhere. Time and time again, I've said things like "expression of love" and see folks' eyes glaze over. I've even had people echo back to me what they think I've said: "you mean $*&ing"
Sure they don't question the possibility that their partner could be attracted to someone else. Expressing attraction is not the only forbidden, also to varying degrees, are actions that could cause attraction. Pre-emptive strike style. Looking at others, doing favors for others, talking "too much" with others... all those are possible signs that you've got a "bad" partner in many mono minds. (By "others" I mean "people of the same gender as those which your partner prefers sexually")