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Old 08-18-2012, 02:56 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 923

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
I can highly recommend reading Mono's posts on this topic that LR linked to.
I've done a lot of reading on this forum, including many of Mono's posts, and have read a great deal of several of the LR's links. (Thank you, LR.) I confess, I sometimes still struggle to find the answers I feel are eluding me. However...

For me, a secondary is just someone that I don't live with and don't share the day-to-day life decisions with. We talk nearly every day at length, and tell each other about our days. We meet each others friends and hang out. We help each other with life.

What's the degree of commitment if it's not moving in and making babies? To me, a committed relationship doesn't mean "till death us do part", it means that we're not going to walk away at the first sign of trouble, or on a whim. If there are problems, we are going to work together to try to resolve them, to find a win-win ideally, or a compromise is a win-win isn't available. We become interdependent (and if you're not sure of that term, I can provide some references) - part of each others support structures in life. Someone that can be relied upon if things go pear-shaped. Someone to lean on or a shoulder to cry on. Someone that will be prepared to listen to us rant about how crappy a day we've had at work, or how tired we are. All this in addition to someone to do fun things with.
This helps. Thank you.
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