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Old 08-18-2012, 01:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mostlyclueless View Post
This will be the hardest breakup I have ever had, and I have had some doozies.
Okay, it will be hard. Or maybe it won't be as hard as you think, if only you would open your eyes and see the real person you're with who treats you so disrespectfully, and not the fantasy person you keep wishing he would be. Either way, hard or not so hard to do, that's life. You break up, you grieve, you move on and create a better life with more respectful relationships.

I wanted to die when my husband left me without any warning. We were together 12 years and then he decides he wants out and leaves. WTF? I literally felt like the planet would be better off without me, I was so forlorn and lost and felt like an utter failure. It was fucking hard. Well, I survived and life got better. Now I have had wonderful experiences in my love life, which wouldn't have happened if I was still with my ex! Each relationship teaches you about the next, and the next, and the next. So what if breaking up is hard? It is your life raft. It's okay to be sad, to be mournful, but get in that boat and save yourself! Someone better for you is out there if you let go of this one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mostlyclueless View Post
I know this is just my sadness speaking, but suppose he comes home (he's gone for the weekend) and we discuss and he agrees he's in the wrong on everything...do you think it can still be saved?
Ahem. Hasn't he ever admitted to being wrong before? And what happened. Look where you are again. It doesn't matter what he says if his actions prove otherwise. He is narcissistic and only wants you to serve his needs. He doesn't care enough about you, look at everything he's put you through. Don't be so afraid to take a stance, hon. This is your life!
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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