Thread: Poly or not?
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Old 08-17-2012, 07:57 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
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Originally Posted by km34 View Post
He may be poly, but he's definitely full of shit.
I disagree!

He may not be full of shit, but he's definitely NOT poly.

Poly is about loving, open, and (sometimes) committed relationships - it is one form of responsible non-monogamy. I'm not really hearing any of that here. He's being far from open about his other relationships with you and this "I don't want to set any expectations" is garbage - why the hell not? Telling you after the fact is not being open. Telling you only when you (by accident) find out isn't being open.

A fluid bond (not using condoms) is something that has to be taken very, very seriously, and not something to be entered into lightly. If you do not use condoms then you are effectively having sex with every person that he has sex with.

You put out an expectation - a boundary for you - and he trampled all over it without a second thought. Repeatedly. That's not open and it ain't poly.

He many well be "interested" in polyamory, but he is obviously not doing it. it's sounding like something that mercury mentioned on another thread - one of these folks who uses the word "polyamory" to put some sort of cover over highly irresponsible relationship behaviour.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb

Last edited by CielDuMatin; 08-17-2012 at 08:00 PM.
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