Just want to point out something that seems rather obvious to me, but I'm not sure you see it.
That friend of yours -- a virgin, not into poly, and actively dislikes your partner.
Then he hits on her.
Is there really any wonder she flaked on getting together with you and said not nice things to you?
And your partner is blaming you. What a load of crap. He definitely does need to police himself, or you won't have any friends left.
I've read your other threads. What it comes down to, as I see it, is your current partner doesn't respect you and you wind up trying to twist yourself into a pretzel to please him, but it never works. You don't know how to be true to yourself anymore. If I were you, I would take six months apart from your partner to re-evaluate everything, not just poly. And by that, I mean, whether you want to stay with him or not. You need to get a hold of yourself, remember who you are without someone else to validate that for you, and find satisfaction within. I don't know why you stay with him - he undermines your emotional well-being and sense of self-esteem. Remember, loving someone just isn't enough.
Last edited by nycindie; 08-17-2012 at 06:40 PM.