Originally Posted by KyleKat
Second order of business - Talk to her. Find out what she's uncomfortable with. Talk to them both. Work through it. It sounds like she's being jealous or having issues sharing, which is normal, but not healthy. If he's oblivious, you need to make him aware so he can address it.
I couldn't imagine dating someone for a year and a half and never sleeping in the same bed as them. Obviously it is causing you a great deal of turmoil and you need to address it one way or another.
Find out if this is a hard limit for her. Is she going to leave him if he does this? Why? What risks do sleeping in the same bed pose that having sex (or threesomes!) don't? Does she think he'll love you more than he has already in the past 1.5 years?
We've had counter-productive discussions with her about this. He's very yielding towards it but she's uncomfortable. Any time she needs to leave town and he's unable to due to work I am to take time away from my life to go with her. It's to keep me away so these things don't happen. It doesn't have to be at their house. It can be at mine or a hotel if it makes her more comfortable. We've only been able to do this three times. I didn't include this information, my apologies. The first time she made it difficult by keeping him on the phone the whole night. The last couple of times I accompanied him on a business trip and had to lie and say I was elsewhere. She wanted me to come over otherwise to keep an eye on me.
Your response makes more logical sense. Not cause it's tailored to what I want though. Her excuse is she spends very little time with him. It's inconsistent though. When she has time off from work more often than not she'll go out of town to see her parents or spend the day with me. She's self inflicting this disposition she has with him. So, sleeping together every night is her comfort, and she can't sleep otherwise. I know it's just jealousy and the inability to fully share.