I think that dating as a cpl is a terrible idea. I also think he is being insensitive and unrealistic.
Anytime we want to partner with a person we have to be willing to accept their limitations and work WITH them as they are. Both you and he are trying to control and change each other. Unhealthy, disfunctional and counterproductive.
Furthermore, she who suggested going at the pace of the slowest partner had a very valid point, assuming the slow partner is actively working towards resolution of their issues.
BUT he who said that in order to minimize the fear and insecurity reactions U HAVE TO GO FACE THE TRIGGERS REPEATEDLY WITHOUT TRYING TO ALTER THEM UNTIL THEY STOP TRIGGERING YOU, also had a valid point.
If you want to overcome the fear, you gotta let the situation happen so that in the end you see that you survived it.
"Love As Thou Wilt"