I haven’t read any of these responses, but I just want to say it’s that I don’t like people feeling the need to “class up” what they do by calling it polyamory instead of casual sex or an open relationship. There’s nothing wrong with casual sex, so there’s no need to make yourself feel “classy” by saying you’re polyamorous.
People who have casual sex don’t treat their partners like dirt. They’re often very kind, they’re often respectful, they’re often affectionate. Same with friends with benefits. It’s still casual sex and friends with benefits. I think people here think that if they have sexual relationships with other people and are actually nice to them that it’s “polyamory.” As if casual sex-havers are rude, mocking, and complete shits to their partners. Lol. I had a one-night-stand a couple years ago in which the guy treated me like a queen, bought me breakfast the next morning, walked me to my front door, etc. I’m not calling it polyamory just because there was affection and respect there. Likewise, I’ve had friends with benefits who cuddled with me all night and did pillow talk with me, etc., etc. It doesn’t make it polyamory just because we were nice to each other. Who sleeps with people who are complete dicks/bitches to them, anyway?
There are definitely some people on this board who seem to be in polyamorous situations. People who have one very meaningful partner and another meaningful partner. Mind you, I don’t have the belief that it’s only polyamory if you’re in love with two or three different people and nobody’s jealous and it all works perfectly. I believe you’re in a polyamorous situation if you do have two or three meaningful, loving, long-term relationships and that everyone involved is working hard at making it work and trying to be respectful of each other’s involvements. They’re working through their jealousies and insecurities like adults.
That said, there are people on this board who're just getting action on the side (and they're quite comfortable with that) and calling it polyamory.
The process of looking for a long-term mate to be in love with (in addition to your current partner who you’re in love with), if it is a series of bed-hopping, month-long involvements, or being friends with benefits or one-night-stands (who are nice to each other), doesn’t constitute polyamory to me. It’s you having some fun.
You’re trying so hard to make something kind of casual be classier than what it is by calling it polyamory.
Last edited by mercury; 08-17-2012 at 04:27 PM.