Some brief thoughts.
I don't think that only dating together is in any way a good compromise. It's not some middle ground, it's just a dysfunctional approach to dating that I honestly don't believe has a chance of working out well in the current climate of your relationship. Why put the both of you, and another person, through that just for the sake of an ideal of compromise? I apologize if that sound harsh, but it's as clear as I can put it.
Maybe he should just put a complete hold on dating other people for another, say, 6 months, while you work hard in therapy? Would that be possible? If not, why not? It would be one thing if there was another person he was in love with, but if he's just in love with the idea of dating, can't he wait a little longer?
I disagree that it's unfair to ask someone to police their behavior. We do it all the time. For instance, I don't flirt with coworkers, because it would be inappropriate. I don't go after people my gf is trying to get with, because that would hurt her feelings. It's not that hard.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Last edited by AnnabelMore; 08-17-2012 at 04:05 PM.