Are you both monogamous to the person you share? It would explain a good deal.
Two people expressing needs that conflict; who is to say which person's need is greater? It won't help to start pinning negative and accusatory motives like who is jealous and who is controlling. It could be seen that way by both if both of you are mono. Don't go down that path. Decide how important what you want is and if the circumstance of this relationship won't afford you that then you're not in unfamiliar territory at all. What do monogamous people do in monogamous relationships when their needs are not and/or cannot be met?