I think that's most of it. I miss him very badly. We have not seen each other in person since we said our I love yous and I am craving some physical intimacy from him. We have talked about our feelings and he tells me he misses me too. It's just unfortunate that it's impossible for us to see each other any sooner.
I am glad that he's out and having a good time. I hope she makes him happy. But I am aching because I wish it was me.
I don't think it would be better not to know, because I worry about him and I want his sexual needs to be taken care of. It's just a double edged sword, because I feel glad for him and frustrated for me. Then I get mad at myself for feeling frustrated and it kind of snowballs into a mass of negativity and I hate that.
I've been feeling better about my insecurity issues, knowing how he feels about me. I feel okay that I am in touch with my feelings at least, but I wish I could manage them better. It doesn't help that I am feeling pretty lonely tonight. H has been out of town for 2 weeks so I've been a single mom lately, and I'm pretty tired and run down.