Thanks for sharing. I also seem to end up with mono guys who are willing to "see what happens" with me. To this day I don't know how it would feel to be on the "receiving end", whereby he is the one seeing other people. I imagine - and fear - that I would feel jealous, and subsequently would feel I am a hypocrite, and that it wouldn't be "fair" for me to feel that way.
All hypothetical, of course. For all I know, I'd be fine with it... so I try not to think too much about it
But GUILT is a real issue for me. My "primary" of 2.5 years is wholeheartedly mono, and I've been poly the whole time I've known him. Even though he is okay with me having "connections" with other people, I often feel guilty when I do, and like I am doing something that I shouldn't by being poly.
I haven't heard many other polys talk about guilt -- what have been others' experiences with this? How do you stop feeling guilty/wrong when you are assured that you shouldn't?