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Old 08-16-2012, 10:12 PM
zusammen zusammen is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 12
Default Love this!

Hi all,

I'm not much of a poster, but I read frequently. I love this whole topic, because I see myself as poly in more casual ways. Sometimes it's hard to find personally relevant topics on here as so many people seem to have a number of serious relationships, or are involved in triads or the like.

I love the spontaneous, noncommittal "hook ups". Some might call this casual sex, but for me there is meaning in it. It's having a connection and being able to act on it.

Someone questioned the possibility of "friends in public, affection in private". Honestly, I do have that. For me it's because I have a "primary" I've been with for 2 and half years, and 2 "boyfriends". When I go out with the primary (I'll call him Sax), I don't want to be seen as part of a "unit", or have people assume things about us because of our relation to each other. So, generally, we don't engage in PDA - which is not a rule, but a preference (we're just not "couply" types of people).

If, on the very odd occasion, more than one of my "boyfriends" will be in the same place at the same time, the understanding is that I'm not with one of them more than the other(s) - so this means no real PDA with any of them, ie, we're all out as friends.

On a side note, and I hope someone can identify with me on this... I also like to see myself as solo, unattached, independent... my ideal would be ultimately uncommitted relationships. However, after so much time being with Sax, I inevitably am in a "relationship". I don't want to not be with Sax, nor impose artificial restrictions... Is anyone else in a similar situation? How do you deal with the unintended seriousness that simply comes with time?
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