Well, I've also been married over 20 years (21 tomorrow
). With my own marriage and in talking with others who have been married 20+ years, it seems to be common for our interests to diverge and we do more and more things separately. This used to be a problem for me, but with some help from a counselor and effort from both of us, it's not such a big deal anymore. We do have to make time for just us and that takes effort, not like when we were first married
, but lets face it, that was 20 years ago
When was the last time you and your wife sat down together and discussed how your feeling, your plans for the future and some of your short/long term goals? It's easy to allow ourselves to get sucked into a specific pattern, only to realize one day that this pattern really sucks. Time to turn off the auto pilot (GPS got you a bit lost) and figure out how to re-map where you really want to go and how to get there from where you are right now. It is possible that even some little changes by the both of you can alleviate your feelings of being secondary. Does she realize she is making you feel secondary?
PS Where are you sailing out of?