For me: Red flag, yes, yes, YES. Dealbreaker, no.
I see how a person takes care of himself and if there is a visible, earnest effort to manage the illness, and if it is clear I won't be dragged down the rabbit hole with him, then I give him a shot. Lively is very diligent about taking care of himself, but he has been hospitalized (prior to my knowing him) during periods where he went off his meds and didn't get hold of himself. So, I remain alert to that. I was raised by a mother who was very mentally ill, and my life growing up was extremely chaotic, confusing, and full of turmoil, and it took a lo-o-ong time to recover from that and figure out on my own what reality is, so I have to be careful to know that I won't get sucked into someone else's dramas. Protecting myself doesn't mean I won't be loving and supportive -- I just have to be careful that I don't overextend and deplete myself to do so, like I did trying to take care of and/or sidestep my mother.
Hot chick in the city.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me.
Last edited by nycindie; 08-16-2012 at 03:31 PM.