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Old 08-16-2012, 03:26 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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For me: Red flag, yes, yes, YES. Dealbreaker, no.

I see how a person takes care of himself and if there is a visible, earnest effort to manage the illness, and if it is clear I won't be dragged down the rabbit hole with him, then I give him a shot. I have to be careful to know that I won't get sucked into someone else's dramas. Protecting myself doesn't mean I won't be loving and supportive -- I just have to be careful that I don't overextend and deplete myself to do so.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 05-01-2014 at 07:35 AM.
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