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Old 08-16-2012, 08:11 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826
Default Happy-ish Stable-ish, Uneventful Poly

I am not new here, or new to poly, but I never made an introduction so I thought I would. Nothing noteworthy enough is happening to start a blog. Hoping it stays that way! Nevertheless I guess I'll start from day one.

I was briefly poly ten or so years ago with my ex-husband, but we broke up 9 months later, and I ended up monogamous with my other partner at the time, Adam, while I recovered from the break up. My request to Adam was to add no new partners (he was dating somebody which was fine with me) for a few months while I recovered from my break up. When it turned out Adam and I were getting serious, it seemed like a (not that much discussed) smart idea to build our relationship and figure out what was happening before taking on any other partners again. Somehow the default was “we are mono“ when it was brought up, which confused me since Adam had been poly since he was a teenager, about 20 years when we met.

I started er…putting my foot down? That we either needed a change in our relationship (the sexual dynamic) or to be open to dating again, about 5 years into our relationship. I was met with reluctance to the idea, which didn’t make sense to me with Adam‘s background. I’ll go on in great droning detail about that later. … I was actively advocating for it for two years without any progress, when somebody messaged Adam at his polymatchmaker.com profile. She asked if he would like to meet for coffee (his profile said looking for friends) and I said he should. Before the meeting I told him to sit down, shut up, and listen to what I was saying, and forbade (YES FORBADE) him to respond to what I said. I told him if he felt like flirting with her, he should flirt, and sent him on his way. He came back from coffee all giddy and energized, and suddenly remembered all the benefits to poly, and BAM.

hmm, guess I'll post this before I change my mind!
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