Thread: The L Word
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Old 08-16-2012, 04:41 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,443

I'm always scared of saying "I love you" too soon because I'm used to saying it so often. With Seamus, I say it all the time. Some times it goes "I love you" "I love you too" "I love you" "I love you too". And we're not doing it on purpose, either. We've been in a honeymoon phase ever since the beginning.

I remember the first time I told him, we couldn't have been together for more than a month. I didn't even tell him, really, I typed it. When I realised what I was done, I was terrified. I thought "it's over". You always hear about people who get scared by declarations of love.
I was so relieved when he said he loved me too. I told him I was worried that would have scared him off, and he said he had no reason to be scared off since he felt the same way.

My main "problem" I guess, is that I wouldn't really consider dating someone I don't already love. So obviously, I want to say it right away. I'll need to remember that people generally aren't like me, they don't date someone because they want to spend their life with them, they date them, and others, and then see how they feel about everyone.

Anyways, I don't know how you can deal with it. It's not the kind of thing I'm really good at not saying. I'm already having trouble not telling it to Seamus's coworker when we talk, every time I say "bye", I have to stop myself before I add "love you!" and someday I probably won't stop myself. Oh well, I'll deal with it if it happens.

Sometimes I wonder why a lot of people seem to think that the less you say it, the less it's true. I don't think that's the case. Mind you, I don't think it's the case the other way around, either, you don't have to say it all the time, my parents certainly never told me they loved me and I still know they do, for instance. And I'd be fine with a partner who doesn't say it, provided they don't mind my saying it, and they don't feel like I'm pressuring them (I don't see why people assume I expect an answer. It's just that the feelings have to come out because they're overflowing, so I have urges to hug and kiss and say things like that).

Anyways. Good luck. Do your best not to tell him if he's scared of it, and learn to channel it in other ways.
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