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Old 08-15-2012, 11:11 PM
Perks Perks is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 6

Wow people post fast on here! Thank you everyone for your comments.

I was trying to make my original post short and to the point but I guess I should explain things a bit better.

Yes I moved to be with him. I gave up things so I could have him in my life full time. It has been hard for me to make new friends and I don't have a lot of support from him due to his independent nature.

He does not communicate. How can I make/force someone open up? (you can't) I've been trying for years to find a way and nothing seems to work. I try to offer other ways for him to express himself and he is like a brick wall. I've been open and talk to him about this topic (poly) and other issues all the time. After five years of asking, "Are you ok? What's going on? How are you feeling?" about every single thing we do together as a couple and as individuals takes its toll. Sorry if I seem a little frustrated and rushed. We pay for therapy every week so we can have the same conversation over and over. I've had it at this point. I can't continue to put ALL of my life goals on hold (have no life/friends, job, etc.) because he likes it better that way. (I know our main problem is much deeper than just the poly issue. Sorry to trail off poly topic but I just had to explain my situation.)

We do not have kids and we will not be having any. He has no friends and hates it when I ask him to make some. I see my friends one night a week for dinner and he hates to see me go. I only see my BF once a week for 3 hours while my husband works late. He has requested this setup so that it would not disrupt his time with me. Is this moving too fast? I feel if I move any slower I will turn into a snail.

I have been the person to compromise in this relationship. We talk about this in therapy every week. I put his needs and wants first and it can't always be that way. I could keep it up for a few years but it looks like I'm starting to feel the burn.

I want to express that I love my husband very very much. He sounds like nut ball when I type all this down but he really is a good person. And if anything I'm the crazy one. I've had a very out of the norm life and sometimes I let my body move forward without talking it over with my brain first.

Thanks again for all the helpful comments!
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