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Old 08-15-2012, 10:37 PM
riverrun riverrun is offline
New Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 2

OK, good questions ...

First, I suppose you could say we "started as swingers" if accepting an open relationship and putting up an online ad (or meeting people when I go out) counts as that. I think it was more kind of generically being "open" although not talking about it in detail ... even before being officially open we've always agreed that having sex with someone else wasn't a sin or something to split up over.

As for me, I always knew I wanted a real friend, not just swinging ...

My wife does not want to swing anymore... she said the sex was good but she doesn't want to do it anymore. I don't know if this is her final decision since she was really enthusiastic about it before and has talked about this for a couple years. She thinks swinging would hurt me or our relationship. She also thinks its not possible to have another person in your life without getting attached and eventually going to that person. That's why I thought maybe suggesting to her (in a couple months) that we try it together (go to a club) so she'll be more comfortable ...

Yes, I totally shared TMI with her and now she doesn't want to know about it at all. Would prefer I didn't do it. And I suspect has not been forthcoming with me (in the past, she implied she had tried something before we were officially open). That's why I don't want to check in with her ... maybe in a couple months I'll feel more comfortable. She's still comfortable with me going out with my friends so knows something could happen ...

As for craving emotional intimacy in my relationship with my wife, yes that had become an issue but is better now since we are taking time to spend quality time together. (Used to be she was often off working on art, I was hanging out with friends, she said she didn't need to spend more time with me, and we used fight about something as mundane as housework as she is much neater than me ... we were developing bad habits ... lately we take time to schedule dates or just hang out.)
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