I'm not sure I made my point clear?
You do not have to be a parent to these older children.
But you are not a guest. You are in the role of family friend plus. (Actually one of the parent lovers!)
So you need to ask your Lover when and how can you tell his/her kids off and be within your rights to do so. And how lover will plan to back you up. Will they? Or not?
Because if the kids cross YOUR boundaries while you are in this house, you want to speak up freely and tell the kid off for crossing your limits. And not have the kid pull the old "Nyah! You are not my parent! Neener neener!" crap. I would hope these children are not hellions. But if you are newish in this family, you cannot know yet. For all you know your lover is a nice person but a wimp parent. *shrug*
Would you be happy if kid took your car from the driveway to go joyriding with friends and banged it up? Would Lover pay for the damages to your property promptly? Drag it out? Or pull the "Well, they are just a kid so... we have to suck it up...." THEY have to. They are the parent. YOU do not. You are NOT the parent.
Then what? Small claims court?
Hash it now rather than later or leaving it to the winds. Seriously.
WHERE do you fit in this household in relation to your rights being upheld by your LOVER when it is a situation concerning the children.
It is not You AGAINST the children like you are at war with them for your Lover's attention. But let's keep it real.
If my lover's child stole my checkbook and made false checks, I want to be paid back in full, and apology PRONTO! Not more nonsense. And if Lover cannot give me that respect, I be rethinking this whole rship.
That has everything to do with how Lover is to be in Right Relationship to Me.
NOTHING to do with me being a parent to lover's kids. Unless Lover expects me to take on some parent-y babysitter-y role here. Which needs to be articulated and negotiated then. For me to sign off on. Otherwise I'm being polite family friend here and I do not "Do" children. Like 'em fine. But not mine.
Last edited by GalaGirl; 08-15-2012 at 07:48 PM.