My DH was NOT great at articulation at the start. It isn't so much that he cannot
articulate. It is that he comes from a background where articulation put you in the dog house. It took him a while to believe and then do and the see what I am different.
YES, if you tell me something I do not like to hear I may have a minor side GRRR moment.
welcome the news. No, you are not in the dog house. I just need to steam valve on the side for a moment before I can return to this thing and address it like a sane person. I go ballistic at information withheld. I do not go ballistic at information given that I don't love to hear. There IS a difference.
He often would say "I don't know." To hem and haw and hedge his bets. He doesn't do that any more and he's much more up front but sometimes he gets stuck. To this day it still helps when he goes "I don't know" to ask him for his buckets.
"Alright. You do not know the metabucket answer from all your health buckets combined. Gimme the buckets separate then. How are you on this ...
- In your BODY? Anything tense? Hurting?
- In your MIND? Mind racing and won't shut up? Mind stuck or slow as molasses?
- In your HEART? Is it dark in there? Heavy? Sweetness and light?
- In your SOUL? Hang time at the forge? Soaring? Where is spirit?
The other day I asked him on a minor issue -- "hey, where you at? Can I go out to coffee with a friend?"
He goes "I don't know."
I sigh and go "Gimme buckets."
He thinks. Then answers slowly.
"Well... my body is tired. It was a long day at work. I did not sleep well last night. My mind heart is full and content. My brain is fried. I have crazy clients. You would not even believe!
My soul? Um. My soul is peaceful. Content?"
I respond "So I'm getting 2 counts of tired, and 2 neutrals. So you really ought to nap and skip parenting duty tonight. And I really ought to schedule my date with the gals for later in the week so you have a chance to rest. Is that the ball park we are in?"
He blinks. "Um... yah?"
"Great! You nap, I get to carry on and fix my calendar. Thanks!"
And I go off to do my thing cheerfully. And he gets to nap cheerfully. And nobody has any cows. All well with the world.
But seriously he makes me CRAZY with the "I don't know" thing. I just want him to SPIT IT OUT so I can move on to dealing with whatever it is. I don't like not knowing.
Maybe try the technique of asking him for his buckets separately
rather than the Meta-bucket of all things combined in one answer? Get a better temperature check.