My wife tells me that I was bitter, angry, and not easy to be around when we were in a closed relationship. Even talking about poly and agreeing to look to it has apparently improved my mood to the point where I'm tolerable (better than tolerable actually! hehe)
Now, when we were in a closed marriage I didn't realize I was acting this way. I was happy, or so I thought. I enjoyed life with her and I loved being around her. But that's not what she saw. It really damaged our relationship and I feel terrible about it. I have to let it go and move on.
Things have improved considerably for us. Sometimes it makes her sad because, as a formerly mono-minded person, she's having to learn how to adjust and decide whether or not she even can; whereas I am geared this way and was suppressing it to both of our detriment. I try to reassure her frequently that I am happy and that she is enough for me, that I don't want more from her or need more from her. Still, the relationship is healthier than it has been in a long time.
So, yes. Poly has helped me grow. It's helped me be a better person, and it's helped save my marriage. Not more people, the idea. The ability to be who I truly am.
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith
Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old