so you two started out your open relationship as swingers then? Do you have long term cultivated friendships within the swinging community? Has she had a deeper relationship with anyone else? Did either of you ever contemplate falling in love before? And was this kind of a "newsflash" for you when you realized you REALLY liked your new friend?
I only ask all of these questions because my husband and I have kind of already been through all of this (quite intensely I may add) and have come out on the other side stronger and happier than ever. AND I have the most amazing "other primary ;-)" relationship!
~Life is not about finding yourself. It is about CREATING yourself.