Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences. My situation seems to differ from yours as described I think mainly because I have no desire to be a parent or have children. Ever. This may change one day, yes, but that is how it stands right now.
In relating to these children it would be as people on even ground and any relationship that develops I am thinking would be more akin to friendship, or perhaps eventually family like but I don't feel like telling them what to do and why in any situation beyond them directly affecting me. Aside from typical advice when asked, etc.
They aren't 5 year olds. They can make decisions and weight out consequences and learn from mistakes at this point as far as I can tell. I'm sure I will learn a lot and maybe my perspective will change as I get to know them...