This sounds really similar to my current situation. Please excuse the small high jacking of the thread.
Me= poly even before I knew there was a word for it. Never cut out to be housewife material, more of a wanderer type
Gamerboy(my partner)= More traditional but open minded. now struggling, really struggling, with sharing my time and me
I was brutally honest from the beginning. I told him I had no interest in a lifelong monogamous relationship, I like/need to be able to move/travel and have my own life. He said ok.
The first four years of our relationship were monogamous, (we opened our relationship a year and a half ago). I didn't work or really have any outside activities or make any moves to look for an outside relationship. This was due to lack of funds, free time and caring for young children. But due to our current struggles, more on that later, it appears he liked it that way. From our conversations, both early and over the last few years, it seems that he didn't really take me seriously. Its not that he wasn't listening or disregarding me, just that it didn't expect it to be a problem.
So now here we are, a year after opening our relationship and me starting to get out on my own and he is struggling and breaking down. I can't give him all of me, and I don't know that what I can give will be enough. I have always been honest about who I was and had a fairly good idea of who he was. I am hoping these are just growing pains and that we can both have what we need/want without the other feeling betrayed. We are working on it, so we'll see.
sorry for side tracking, just wanted to say I understood.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.