Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe
Actually - in addition to all I wrote above I am a pretty strong introvert (INTJ actually) - the fact that I CAN
take charge and kick ass doesn't mean that I WANT
to. I just hate it when people fart around wasting my time when I would rather be home reading a book - so I fix that. My tom-boy nature I don't fight but occasionally I realize that my introvert nature is holding me back from some interesting experience - so once in a great while I will put on my "Mustang Sally" persona and play the sassy extrovert to the hilt (SHE
wears make-up and jewelry and sexy outfits and wiggles her hips when she walks ... stuff I just about never do in real life).
I think that I would like to learn to be submissive sexually - but I have so many defensive walls up that it is hard for me to let go and allow for any vulnerability. (I actually don't know why this is...I don't have much in my past that could account for my extreme defensiveness...still trying to figure that out - Dude is working with me on this, but it is actually easier to let a girl take control than a guy - go figure
Mustang Sally persona? That sounds unbelievably sexy lol not just the make up and stuff, but personality. Yeah.
I understand about walls - I've actually never been totally open with any partner about my preferences before, it's kind of like... if I have to tell you, it defeats the purpose :P which I know is unfair, but that was my motto. I'm attempting to get into myself more and reveal this submissive kitten I think I can be, but we'll see.
Actually I got more confidence in certain things after being with a woman where men failed horribly at making me comfortable
sometimes it works funny...