AGREEMENT ADDENDUM: YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR TELLING
I had a strange night last night. It's crazy timing too because I'm reviewing our agreement of how to be in right relationship.
Without spilling too many beans, a married friend of mine is experiencing problems because they Opened with NO framework. Now they are struggling.
I tried to be a Supportive Friendly Ear to let friend vent. It took hours. It was sad. It was just heartbreaking. I felt so bad for my friend.
But this kind of stuff makes me bonkers. HOW can you be a responsible adult person and Open WITHOUT thinking things through to the best of your ability? You abilities may not take you all the way and may need growing but you at least STOP to work some of that out, right? Not just jump in willy nilly?
I did what I could for my suffering friend and can only hope friend takes charge of their situation in a good way.
But in a rare move, I tacked on a specific even though I feel it is covered under "You have the right to clear communication" and "You are responsible for your own and your partner's buckets"
I put it down in the responsibility bucket too in even more
crystal clear fashion.
- You are responsible for telling if keeping a confidence can hurt someone/is hurting someone
Honestly. They teach my kid
this in school all the time about GOOD secret keeping and BAD secret keeping.
It's fine to keep a secret or confidence for a short while so Daddy can have a surprise birthday party. We are not keeping the secret to HURT him.
It is NOT fine to keep a secret or confidence if you know someone is being hurt or could get hurt. Knowingly participating in activities that hurt yourself or your partner or another.
You are supposed to tend your own and your partner's well being right? The buckets of mental health, emotional health, spiritual health, physical health?
But JUST IN CASE YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO KNOW...
We do not keep secrets that can hurt / are hurting someone.
That's so not Jedi. It's not even Muppet. It's not just
--- savagely cruel!
Thppppt to that!