I am married and have 3 kids. All boys 18, 9 and 5.
I now have found myself in a relationship I never thought I would find. When my husband loved me enough to support me finding my happiness I never expected to find a second man who I would fall so deeply for. I love my boyfriend almost as deeply as my husband.
Now that I feel like my boyfriend M is going to be around a long time I have the conflict of the kids. D my husband at first was a bit resistant to M ever meeting the kids. He felt threatened as a father. My husband is an AWESOME dad and probably the better parent of the two of us..lol We talked about it a lot..
D said to me the other day that he now is perfectly comfortable with M meeting the boys when he is ready. My kids are over 9 hours away from their closest family. It would be good for the kids to have another strong male role model. If something were to happen to D he would feel better to know the boys had a second father figure to look after them.
M likes children they just kind of never happened for him. I have told him if he wants some of his own I am the wrong woman for him. a) I am not leaving my husband.. (M is mono) b) My tubes are tied after almost dying with my youngest son. M wants me in his life and understands. He likes the idea that we have our own seperate houses and etc. He is like me and enjoys some space here and there. I split my time 50/50 between D and M as much as possible. He doesn't want a baby at 40. My kids are at the fun age...lol.
Plus M's family is here. M's mom has two grandchildren from M's sister. But she wants more. She is dying to bring my kids into her family. M's dad is just as bad. He is excited my kids are into cars and all things boy. They keep asking when we are going to include the kids. I have been the one to keep them seperate. We are just going to have to bite the bullet and make the leap. D feels comfortable with M's family becoming like my boys extended family. He feels the more people who care about them the better.
I have not been hiding M from the kids or vice versa. My kids know where I go when I go see M. I have even way back when when dating my husband D and I just had my oldest son believed that no one met my child(ren) until I knew they where here for the long haul.