Originally Posted by Setxfamily
Hello and welcome from the Houston area. What area do you reside in?
Hello! I'm in the El Paso Borderland area
Never been farther into Texas but heard awesome things about Houston ^_^
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe
Actually, a lot of this makes perfect sense to me! But of course - a lot of what you are saying describes me as well.
I tend to feel more comfortable "hanging out" with men as "one of the boys" in general. My sense of humor and sexual aggressiveness can come across very masculine. I tend to have "bigger balls" than many when it comes to challenging authority. I tend to excel at interactions that involve intellectual debate, rational or logical thought, or practical solutions. I find myself avoiding topics involving emotions/romance/etc. After sex I tend to fall immediately asleep or am so energized I want to pop up and DO something (I only recognized that recently because Dude always wants to cuddle/talk after sex).
For me some of this may have been learned behavior - in college/grad school being 5'2", barely 100#, and looking very young for my age - when you are in a male dominated field, being able to take charge and not take shit from ANYONE is a useful skill (to this day my male boss of 13 years admits to my colleagues that he is a little bit afraid of me...which is just how I like it
In my relations with women I tend to be drawn to very femme (but strong, independent) women. I definitely find myself taking on the "male" role there - protector, problem-solver, initiator of sex, etc. With men - I am attracted to big physically strong (but caring, thoughtful) alpha males who are my intellectual match.
I'm curious if you (like me) are your mother's firstborn child. Some of the "birth order" research points to a biological trend with regard to some of the tendencies noted. The first born child (of either gender) tends to be exposed to more testosterone in utero
. In males this "boost" may be overshadowed by the cultural premium society gives the "first born male" (whether they are the first child or not). (Fair warning - birth order research is highly controvertial as there are MANY confounding factors...it just amuses me that me and my two younger sisters fit the profiles so closely.) MrS teases me about being my "father's oldest son" - I spent my childhood hunting, fishing, and fixing things with dad (I sometimes wonder if my father would have been such an awesome dad to his daughters if he had actually HAD a son? hmmm).
PS. Welcome to the forums and love the username.
Thanks for the welcome! My username is a favorite ^_^
Actually yes, I am my mother's firstborn. I did have a younger brother but he was born too premature
so I'm technically the only one. I have theories on my level of testosterone and the effect it's had on my personality, but there's too many theories out there to narrow it down. So I just deal :P
I am atypical 'male' in that I'm very quiet and shy at first with people, but it doesn't take much for me to be 'myself', I guess. I don't have much aggression or hell even 'ambition' as someone who has more testosterone is 'supposed' to have, so Idk. Been a 'tomboy' all my life and have only within the last few years tried being more 'femme'.
What's funny is that as far as relationships, I've a total submissive ;P I have my opinions and am hardheaded but other activities... well...
Originally Posted by Storm77
Well I can relate but from the opposite side.
Am male but always been the "nice guy" polite, at times shy when it comes to women, enjoy pampering and pleasing so a bit more submissive with my partner T. Due to health issues as a child and being part Native I'm stuck with a soft voice where people almost always think I'm a woman on the phone
I'm more emotional, sensitive, moody, quickly assume a counselor type to try and solve everyone's problems while mine often seem unimportant.
When it comes to sex, I also feel like I must be thinking more like a woman. I need to feel an emotional connection rather than just sex to get off, tend to really enjoy the submissive side. Very into the touching, kissing, cuddling... just pampering my partner.
Honestly only bi-curious or hetroflexable but otherwise not attracted to men for more than just sex
so don't consider myself gay and being married to very a female wife kind of throws a wrench into that whole label anyways.
Overall I do joke, I'm more the female in our relationship and she's more the male.
I'm usually the one saying "hon we need to talk... I feel..." or just over emotional over small stupid things I worry about. While she's a just calm go with the flow type.
At the risk of being smacked... Oooh maybe a spanking later
T can belch as loud as most guys and will give them a run for their money. When it comes to sex (LOL) I'm usually the one to wants to cuddle afterwards where she just wants to roll over and go to sleep. If she's still up afterwards she'll usually ask me to go make her a snack while she flips thru the channels on TV waiting, hehe.
Not sure how much of this makes sense or relates but that's pretty much me.
On the Poly side, it seems to suck big-time being a male. Contacting most women usually results like being told off that either Poly is disgusting! I'm just another male using it as an excuse to get in someones pants or the more polite response is "Your married!? Sorry not interested I have my own morals and values."
I hate the idea of being outright deceitful off the start but have been questioning how to change my profiles to not really say married but... still try to be honest. ie I live together, in an open relationship with my partner.
lol I feel ya... what's funny is that in sexy times I'm a total submissive, and I'm finding my mind needs to be more engaged than just my body... someone having a sexy mind + sexy body will be the devil, and I will be damned
People tend to think men get into poly situations just because 'oh they're men that's just what they do' but to be honest, a lot of people are at least curious about it. Everyone wants love and connection, right? There are many kinds of love and lots of ways to connect, why just limit yourself?
Oh, but wait... you have a dick, so you must just be a horndog XD I forgot that's how it works across the board...