bottom line is that you aren't willing to respect yourself or uphold your own boundaries designed to protect your well being?
My advice is
1) you are fragile, as another poster said "don't fuck fragile" in other words-you have no business getting into a romantic relationship with anyone. The reason you are fragile is because you are operating with child-like responses to adult situations. Until you learn to make yourself a priority and uphold the necessary boundaries to make you the best version of yourself-you aren't good relationship material
2. you need to read the book
The 7 Levels of Intimacy
Take to heart some of the information in it about relationships. But most especially, learn about the importance of YOU working to be the best version of YOURSELF each day AND the importance of partnering yourself with people who are working to be the best version of themselves each day AND support you in being the best version of yourself.
"Love As Thou Wilt"