View Single Post
  #28  
Old 08-14-2012, 10:35 PM
Glitter's Avatar
Glitter Glitter is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 115
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm77 View Post
I'm trying to think back, I think I've told T at least a few times over the years what I like, what I need about the touching. Previously her issue was touching, led to fondling which led to sex and I guess with her feelings of me that was a big no way!

Just want to pop in here and say my problems/issues had nothing to do with my feelings for you! They were my own insecurities and allowing myself to be controlled by past happenings (newly discovered memories of being molested as a child). I allowed my own fears and hurts guide my value as a woman, as a person. Nothing you could have said or done would have changed that. It was and is all on me. If I continue to allow such things to be my guide as to how I should behave and react, then I will get no where fast.

Add there was and still is times she acts like shes turned on, says we'll do something that night. It never happens, I know now because I never remind her and I have to remember that. I'd wait and wait, it gets later and I think she's just going to let me down again, it's what always happens. She gets tired ready for bed, sometimes I'd not say a word and just feel hurt other times I'd say something and she would just say she's "sorry I promise tomorrow" same thing happens. It got to the point I would joke or mock her when she made those promises "Oooh I'm so gonna jump you tonight!" sometimes it was really hard not to laugh at her, sometimes I'd just nod go about my day, never shower or anything *shrugs* because I knew what to expect from her, it wouldn't happen. I'd take care of myself on the computer, etc crawl into bed later.

(snipped)

It's no where that bad now, things are WAY BETTER in this house since we moved from our last place. But there still are the moments. One of my last rants here was after 4 days of those "promises" but yes my fault too since I'm used to how we work, she promises of something and I take the path of well I'll believe it when it happens and not remind her thinking if she cares she'll remember about me.

I can see and know I have to change my biggest fault. Killing a good relationship between us by being passive then hurt and yeah that is part of the communication.

This is also something I need to work on. I have shitty short term memory, mainly due to medication I've been on. I have to work on the follow-through on my end. If I promise something, I have to do it. Otherwise don't promise it

I also need to speak up and voice my needs and wants. It's been getting easier, for sure But it's a life time of repressing what I want and need that I am fighting (as you know, for you it is a life time of being the good guy and not bluntly saying what you want or need). But we're getting a hell of a lot better at it (thinks of last night)
These are my Love Languages:

Quote:
Love Language Scores:
7 Words of Affirmation
8 Quality Time
7 Receiving Gifts
4 Acts of Service
4 Physical Touch
Interpreting and Using Your Profile Score:
The highest score indicates your primary love language (the highest score is 12). It's not uncommon to have two high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means two languages are important to you. The lower scores indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and which probably don't affect you very much on an emotional level.
I'd like to point out that the gifts I desire are small things, like a little post it note with I Love You Honey on it. I don't care for material things, $$$, etc...I like it when my love spends time on something (like a doodle, a mixed tape, etc) for me
__________________
Me: 33 F
Married to: Storm 35 M
Reply With Quote