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Old 08-14-2012, 10:07 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
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One of the best pieces (as a parent who also has close relationships with other people's kids) is don't LEAP.

Kids generally don't like someone who doesn't like them-I can't explain why or how-but I know it to be true.

My oldest is almost 21 and I've watched this with her and her friends for YEARS. They are like cats in a weird way-except cats seem to throw themselves at those who can't stand them, kids tend to avoid those people.

At the same time, once kids "fall in love" with you-that is VERY hard to break. And it's hell for them when the adults decide they can't have someone in their life that they love.
So-cautious but honest is good.

NEVER SAY NEVER and
NEVER SAY ALWAYS and
NEVER promise to be there forever-cause you don't have the power to grant that promise.

legally:
Rights-none.
Responsibilities-none.

Morally:
depends on you and their parents.

I have ex lovers who have maintained close relationships with my children for over 15 years. Shrug-I respect my kids needs and I never date someone I don't FULLY trust with my children-so there is no reason to segregate them just because our romance died.

But-I know people who remove an ex-lover from their children's lives SIMPLY because they are an ex.

It really is a parents perogative.

I DO suggest inquiring about these things with your lover-so you have a clearer idea of what THEY think. Especially if they've been through previous relationships since they had children-they probably know what their tendency is in regards to allowing ongoing contact.
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