One of the best pieces (as a parent who also has close relationships with other people's kids) is don't LEAP.
Kids generally don't like someone who doesn't like them-I can't explain why or how-but I know it to be true.
My oldest is almost 21 and I've watched this with her and her friends for YEARS. They are like cats in a weird way-except cats seem to throw themselves at those who can't stand them, kids tend to avoid those people.
At the same time, once kids "fall in love" with you-that is VERY hard to break. And it's hell for them when the adults decide they can't have someone in their life that they love.
So-cautious but honest is good.
NEVER SAY NEVER and
NEVER SAY ALWAYS and
NEVER promise to be there forever-cause you don't have the power to grant that promise.
depends on you and their parents.
I have ex lovers who have maintained close relationships with my children for over 15 years. Shrug-I respect my kids needs and I never date someone I don't FULLY trust with my children-so there is no reason to segregate them just because our romance died.
But-I know people who remove an ex-lover from their children's lives SIMPLY because they are an ex.
It really is a parents perogative.
I DO suggest inquiring about these things with your lover-so you have a clearer idea of what THEY think. Especially if they've been through previous relationships since they had children-they probably know what their tendency is in regards to allowing ongoing contact.
"Love As Thou Wilt"