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Old 12-08-2009, 09:16 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by cApNhOwDy View Post
but the mere thought of her being with another man while we're still together makes it impossible for me to maintain an erection, and if I dont break up with her before she starts dating other men then our relationship is going to be ruined regardless considering how hurt I would be (I'm already hurt knowing that she wont allow me to be her only boyfriend) and how different our sex lives will be without me being able to maintain an erection.
I suffer the same physiological affects when thinking about my partner with other men except her husband; you are not alone my friend.
Originally Posted by cApNhOwDy View Post

I love her and I want to stay with her until the day comes when she dates another man, but at that point I'll be too hurt by the fact that I'm not her only boyfriend that I'm going to have to break it off. I've talked to all of my poly and non-poly friends and everyone seems to mutually agree that if we cant overcome this ONE problem in our current relationship, then it wasnt meant to be. I understand that I'm a jealous person and that it's something that many poly couples have to deal with, but I refuse to accept a relationship with multiple men, I'm 100% sure that it wont work, and she's pretty stubborn about having the option available even though she's not currently interested in anyone else. Should we break up now, due to us being unable to compromise an integral part of our relationship?

I hate to see people end things prematurely. I used to think that it would be better to end things right away if you thought something would happen to end it later anyways. As long as you are healthy, stick with it is my recommendation. Enjoy each other to the fullest if you are truly enjoying each other!

Honestly I think I would be happier if I was dumped prior to even mentioning a new male interest. That would be less painful for me and enable me to reshape in a positive way. Or even just being kept in the dark. I have no doubt that simply not wanting to know is a product of social conditioning that accepts affairs but I can't deny it; to lie would be a disservice to the honesty others share on here.
I know how destructive affairs can be and here I am saying I would rather be deceived than asked to accept more love into my partner's "unpoly" is that

Good luck with your struggles Brother
Take care

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over

Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 12-08-2009 at 09:24 PM.
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