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Old 06-01-2009, 12:45 AM
Quath Quath is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 504

Welcome to the forum. I can try to take a stab at a few of your questions. But they are just personal opinions and your milage may vary.

Such as if your married or a primary couple, how do you keep you marriage and primary relationship strong?
I think you do the same things that you would do as if you were monogamous. The only thing different is you may have tougher constraints on your time when you are with other people you love. Otherwise, just make sure you two are communicating and are happy with each other.

How do you keep the secondary (or more) relatonship strong?
Most answers in poly boil down to "communication" and "being open with your feelings and desires." Each situation is different, but just make sure the lines of communication stay open and everyone can get their feelings known.

Married or primary couples do you have rules for your partner like when they are getting to know someone new like if your not in a relationship with a couple, such as taking the time to get to know someone before you are intimate with them, or sharing details about when you were alone with your secondary with your primary?
I think this varies a lot with comfort level and what works for everyone. This is something that should be negotiated, but with thoughts of revising agreements as time goes on and you learn new things. A lot of dealing with being poly is learning a lot about what you and others can be comfortable with.

and especually at first what about jealousey? how do you combat that, coming from a monogamous relationship into a Poly one especually at first i'm thinking jealousey wuld play a factor it is after a natural human emotion?
Accept that people do feel jealous. I think it is a useful way to understand what you are feeling deep inside. Jealousy tends to manifest from either envy or insecurity for most issues. If you can figure out which it is, you can then begin to work through the problem instead of treating the sympton of jealousy. For example, one couple I knew, the husband was feeling jealous because his wife could get a date in a hot minute and it would take him months. So he should focus on dealing with the envy.

And how do you meet other people weather us being married and wanting to meet a one to shar ourselves with seperately, or us meeting a couple together. how do we meet realpeople.
That is a tougher one. You could try poly conventions or poly friendly conventions like BDSM, comic-cons or sci-fi cons. You can try social networking sites like okcupid or facebook. You could just be open and you may stumble across a relationship.

I wish you well in this.
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