KyleKat lays it out tier wise if you are looking to be one on one with someone.
Like in a Closed Duo. Where you are each other's primary people.
You also sound like you want to be Open to other loves, but to maybe to start with you want to get the primary thing nailed.
I'd go seek it then, and nail it!
38 is hardly doddering. There's lots of people in late 30's and early 40's starting over with second chances. Why not you?
If you can handle a secondary relationship in the meanwhile and keep it secondary -- cool. You get some companionship while on the seeking journey and dating others. But if your personality is such to where you end up pining and wishing the secondary would... "primary-ify" and you hang around waiting and this is keeping you from the seeking... then better to be honest with yourself and just be alone while seeking without a secondary.
That's something only you can answer for yourself because you know you best.
Last edited by GalaGirl; 08-15-2012 at 02:59 AM.